The Remedy--Jason Mraz
Sunday, February 8, 2009
4:11 PM
I have been thinking about failure a lot lately which has led to some depressing thoughts. Anyways, second nine-weeks just hasn't been the best for me. People tell me constantly how amazing it would be if they had a twin--to have a friend at all times. However, while it's pretty cool 90% of the time, the other 10% often causes unnecessary anxiety. The reason I'm talking about this is because this nine-weeks Cindy has been doing better than I have in most classes (except AP Calc [:) which has bothered me. I guess to everyone else, this is trivial. I've realized that perhaps my ambitions are hereditary? If you know my dad, you know that he strives to be the best in every environment he has been in. Most of the time...he has succeeded. Likewise, I've inherited this mentality and strive to be the best. However, my hardest opponent has been my sister. My friends all think I'm crazy but it's really hard to get tests after tests back and score lower than Cindy and it has really affected my mood. Does it mean she's smarter than me? I don't know. Maybe I just have a habit of being too hard on myself...but then again, I'm Asian and it's what we do. [: Anyways, I suppose there isn't a remedy to this situation other than to work harder. That's what I've vowed to do this week because PSSAs means no tests and little to no homework. Maybe that will also be my new years resolution.
Since I'm on the topic of my sister, I might as well talk about another thing that has been on my mind. My parents have been pressuring me lately to go to the same college as her so that it'll be easier for visits. However, we obviously don't have the same dreams and I have refused thus far. Now Cindy is also pressuring me, telling me how cool it would be if we were roomies. But is it really my fault for wanting to lead a separate life from her? For 16 years of my life, I have dealed with being called Cindy as well as being constantly compared to her. I suppose I just want to lead a separate life. She's interested in going into a separate field--medicine. To be honest, medicine has interested me as well but I have sacrificed that interest in order to be different from her. Don't get me wrong...I love business and finance and would be completely happy doing that for the rest of my life. Anyways, I suppose I really shouldn't be talking about colleges because I'm only a Junior. Hopefully, I'll think more about this this summer, but I'm pretty sure my mentality won't change--I don't want to go to the same college as her. But ultimately, it's God's plan as to where I'm being led, and wherever that is, I won't oppose.
Connie
1 comments
1 Comments:
i think having a twin who does that really would be frustrating. but at the same time, I think it kinda helps you out more in the end if you think about it. I mean from what I hear your sister is overly goal oriented to the point that she'll push other stuff away. If hypothetically you were better then her at alot of the stuff, you most likely probably would've never had a true connection with god nor become a more considerate person. but then again im a random optimist and see the good things bout shtuff
conclusion?
the differences you have with her might in the long run make you better as a person.
and not be shaken is a pretty good song
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